Men In The City - To Ditch The Date Or To Pitch Another?

What he says/what his penis means...


Men are like appliances - you need detailed instructions to help figure them out.

At the end of the first date, a man will generally use one of these three basic lines:

1. 'I'll call you.' You will never hear from him again.

2. 'I had a really nice time.' He'll call you next week if nothing more interesting is happening.

3. 'What are you doing tomorrow?' He wants you to know if he can stay over tonight.

'We're seeing each other.' Its down to you and the other woman.

He calls you 'girlfriend'. You've made him breakfast, he fixed your car and his friends are not allowed to come on to you.

'I only had a few beers.' I had more than one and less than 50.

'I really like you.' I think I'm falling in love but if I say that word there's no going back.

'I need some space.' I'm about this close to dumping but I haven't quite worked up the nerve to do it yet.

'I'd love to take you to paris' I really want. Have sex with you

'She's just a friend.' She is/was/hopefully one day soon will be my girlfriend.

'My ex won't stop calling me.' I'm not over my ex.

'It was a mutual thing' (talking about why his last relationship ended). She dumped his sorry ass!!!!!

'We haven't spoken in forever and I've been thinking about you.' I haven't had sex in almost three months (did someone say a 'booty call?')

'This is our third date isn't it?/Is it warm out or just me?/You think its true what they say about oysters?' I. W.A.N.T S.E.X

'You're incredible' (said straight after sex). Hint hint I want you to boast about how much better I was compared to your ex.

'You're incredible' (said any other time). You're incredible...

 Ok so you've followed the rules and he's done too many things off key...

How to make sure he knows you know so he WON'T call again...


1. Tell him about your ex, who left you for your best friend. But he's been trying to win you back ever since... (If he still sticking around) Then...

2. Go on about how much the break up messed you up, and that you even had to go through therapy to get to a 'forgiving place'. (He's still calling?)


3. Mention how your mum is desperate to see you married with children. (If he still aint left town)

4. Let drop how your ex had a restraining order put out on you for stalking (add a disclaimer here that you were just out shopping.) If he's still hanging around...

5. If he still seems interested, its time for drastic measures: tell him that you always follow your horoscopes advice, and that currently it says that you should s celibate for six months to clear out all the 'evil demons'


Guaranteed: he'll be calling the bill before you've finished you main course and ordered desert...

IF THIS STILL DONT WORK YOU NEED TO STAY WELL AWAY FROM THIS ONE! HE SPELLS D.A.N.G.E.R.O.U.S

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Men In The City - My Quest To Find The Perfect Man

My mating game! I am actually my own worst enemy! Where are all the alpha males at?!?! I can't be going wrong, its not like... Ahhhh we won't get into that... Anyway, so I'm starting to get a bit fed up of this dating nonsense stuff right, so I decided to have a bit of fun and do a new blog topic 'Men In The City - My Quest To Find The Perfect Man' Yes I've actually decided to blog my journey to finding Mr Right (thats if he exists). So in this chapter I thought I'd layout some... Well some sort of guidelines for my self, unoe Dos and Don'ts. Think of it like a game show, and all the contestants have to go through a phyco analyst ( Well I need to make sure they ain't Mental) a bit like the weakest link, but I'm Ann Robinson...


So I'm fine tuning my radar and making sure I stay well away from these lot, this is my fool proof guide to sizing a guy up in one date. Not that I'm one to take advice from I'm the one looking but anyway...


Freaks

- He says I remind him of his mother. Tempting because he'll watch chick flicks with me, but I'm slowly backing towards the door, carefully turning the handle and running like hell!!!!!

- Confirmed Dudes, Question? Do I really wanna spend my time on a guy that crushes beer cans against his forehead?

- The Prince Charming, so its your first date and he already has made up that he wants to move in with me, get married, have six kids and live in a the country with the horse, goats, sheep and roosters! I'm sorry but I'm gonna be checking that guys passport, visa, I'd card, birth certificate and making he's valid to work in this country, let alone working! Man better be able afford his own place before he starts to try tail bumping mine!

- Any guy who comes my way and trys to claim that he's backed up is a no go, no way jose! He's just interested so he can release and dump his shit on me! No way!

- The Penis enlargers! They are the only sparkly things that will ever come my way, and I can guarantee they will only stay on his neck

- E-Males, no way do I need a guy spilling out his feelings to me on Blackberry Messenger but when its face to face he goes more fridged than the Virgin Mary, great if I need a long distance relationship but not when you live 20mins away...

- Morning Afters, if they look bad when I'm sober they are gonna look even worse when I have a hangover...

- PG Rating lover, probably the greatest thing since sliced bread if it was like what the 1900's? Ok so he gorgeous, good personality all that mumbo jumbo... But I think I need a little more than a partner to watch Will and Grace With...

- Mascara Men, I do not need a guy running at the first sign of emotion! Nuhuh! Nope! Girls! You'll have your period (Yes, I said it! PERIOD!) And he'll be permanently out the door...

- The Man-Boy, the guy loves to do crazy things like whisk me away mid week for a romantic week night or whatever. Excite me with charm and golden leaves and glitter... FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS! Then ill start to get irritated by his zero responsibility (spot via via stock phrases like 'all righty' and 'you go it', which he uses even when you ask a serious question like, 'Could you get an AIDS test?)

- And let's not forget to mention the man who talks about his Ex-girlfriend - LONGINGLY which makes you pose the question why are you here?.


Creeps

- He asks me to lunch instead of dinner - Taken Vs Not all that interested

- He says, 'I'm not looking to get serious.' TRANSLATION: I want to stop cutting holes out of buy one get one free melons and try the real thing once in a while OTHER TRANSLATION: I want sex. And saying this means he doesn't have to worry about how i feel because, in his mind, he is being truthful.

- When you get together for our first date, he tried to shove his tongue down my throat as a hello peck. Unless you want me to show you how my gag reflexes work and bring up my: salad with vinaigrette dressing and ripe cherry tomatoes, lamb chops with mash potatoes and wilted spinach, and new york cheese cake all over you then I suggest you keep that thing where god put it. Not SEXY!

- Eurocreeps I guarantee you he'll dump me for someone younger and skinnier when I hit 30.

- Deceptionists ( Once he shows his true self - in a bout 3 months - I will: 1. Wonder what I ever had in common with the guy, 2. Get angry that I wasted so much time on him, 3. Waste even more time trying to ferret out about what was lies and what was truth)

- Pig Pecker Man - the more I take care of him, the less interested he will probably be...

- He whines at the crucial moment, 'Do we really need to use a condom? I really hate them!' FAAAAAAAACK OFFFFFFFF!!!!

- Anyone in Prison, Pen Dates - not a good look.

- Tweenies, Yes he maybe a walking chemistry set of sexiness but he still has the mentality of a 13 year old.


Freelancers

- He has trouble ordering an entree at the restaurant (or even picking a restaurant) and figuring out if he wants to walk or take cab. The guy buckles under the weight of making any decision - including whether he wants a full time girlfriend or a casual relationship.

- Male sluts, well the just do it for the sex, no go!



The untouchables


The guys that I say are off limits! OFF LIMITS!!! That's for a one night stand, cheat or anything more than a drink in a public place!

- His Best Friend
- Any close member of his family
- Your boss's significant other
- Your sisters boyfriend
- A casual friend or co workers ex, who wants to be seen as the 'Other Woman'
- A friends fuck buddy
- Your best friends boyfriend or crush.


That's the rules, stay tuned for the candidates...

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Question Mark Guys Part 3

Anyway, I know its been a while since I've written about my 'Question Mark Guys' but I've had to have a good think about what and who I talk about seeing as I still sort of talk to a majority of them and the EPIC ERROR is that they all read my blog. LOL though i must tell you that 'Question Mark Guy #1' read my blog and said he found it funny until he got the the story about him and he wasnt impressed LMAO!!!! So yeah thats that basically Oh well! i thought it was halirious when he told me he had read it and that he was offended by it. ahhhh GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES... well he dont wana chat to me no more but i aint that fussed. I had a good chat with my boss yesterday about my blog, and he said be careful with what I write and with my care and consideration I've got a guy for you. He's a bit dopey so I don't think he'll be reading my blog anytime soon.


Question Mark Guy #3
Profile Name: Pretty Ricky
Age: 23 I think but ermmm age aint nothing but a number right?!?!

(Hidden Note: not that you care thought I'd put in that I'm listening some cool tunes right now, so I got my playlist in shuffle. Current song - Marvin Gaye - Let's get it on)

So 'Let Me Get On' with the story... Now let me set the scene for you, its a few weeks ago and I'm at the Indigo2 to see Rick Ross perform. This was actually a madness coz the line for this event was round the CORNER of the CORNER of the CORNER... Basically it was long, very long! LMAO! They were madly searching people at this event its was crazy! They had all the airport, xray scans and all sorts. There was about 20 of us all together and a bit of a madness happened with the tickets with someone else (which I'm not gonna go into) but long story short it was CRAZY!!!! Now, lining up was quite entertaining I must say! A few of the guys we were with (lol I'm not saying who but you know who you are) got to the xray scanning machine thingy and well got kicked right back out coz the had weed on them! Hahahahaha I'm sorry love but that is funny!

(Currently listening to Flo rida - Apple bottom jeans and I've just missed my stop at camden to get on the line Via Bank coz I wernt paying attention so I've got off at Euston instead and now I have these camel toe slow walking people in front me like I haven't got somewhere to be... )

Anyway so the guys go home or out or where ever they went, well they didn't stay in the O2. My battery ran out and I needed to call someone so I ask the guy on the bench just opposite the indigo2 if he had a blackberry and guess? what he did! Woop woop! I asked him if I could borrow his battery and he looked at me as if to say... well actually he did say 'what! Nahhhh! Allow dat! The blackberry takes like 15mins to load when you take the battery out' lol now this is kinda true, but I fluttered my eyelashes and said 'please?' (as you do... Right girls?) And he gave the battery to me. Coincidently the guy was friends with Lightning, Ghett's Cousin who was also sitting on the bench. Long story short, I made the phone call then the guy goes to me you've had my battery can I have your number LMFAO! (Being honest) I gave him my business card and kept it moving... Now I've got into the venue and I bumped into a few people, Ghetts, GFrsh, JMC, Sincere, the whole shebang, crew whatever we all bumped into each other you get the drift right?

Anyway I go up stairs to thngs row to see all my friends and I start to get my mojo on and don't really pay much attention to the show, which is what usually happens.

FASTFORWARDING....djksndjdbkjnfdfdjkjfdfcbfdskskiddrncnfosmxcjedfdbnjdfdfcd...

The event has finished and I'm about to say bye to everyone and walk to the lift, when this tunk looking figure pulls my hand and just when I'm about to do a Mz Bratt 'who do you think you are?' he goes, *In a American Voice* 'hey man, how are you? I've been watching you all night (slightly creepy), I see you talking to people man, I like your aura your vibe man (aura? What are we? Hippies? Who still uses that word?), I'd like to get to know you abit more, (yes it doesn't stop there he does keep talking!) I haven't spoken to a girl all night man, your my first, you can even ask my guy man, your so nice, I'm just looking after Rick Ross tonight (OK so my ears opened when I heard Rick Ross) and I wanna get your number man, what's your name man?' taking a breather obviously saying everything he wanted to say, I paused thinking has he not established that I'm a girl? I go my names Zanna, and he goes 'ah man that's such a nice name man, you look really nice so can I get your number man?' Now in my mind I'm saying say 'man' one more time!!!! And see what happens! But if he didn't say Rick Ross then I would have walked off long time ago, now I don't really care about Rick Ross it was more of the work that I was thinking about... Anyway so yeah I gave him my business card (I LOVE MY CARDS HA!) and said bye then walked off to my girls...

(Sorry to cut the story but some FINE guy has just walked on the bus, a mixed race brother *sigh* that's my eye candy for today ...oh current song - JSB - Good girl)

I weren’t on going to the after party so I just went home, charged my phone and when I switched it on guess who I had miss calls and texts from already??? TONY!!! EAGER or what!!!! Lmao!!! Anyway, I went to bed coz I couldn't be bothered to deal with him, I mean come on I left him like 2 hours ago!

( Lol I'm now on my way home from work....Currently listening to Mz Bratt - I like you, and there is this nice guy standing behind me at this wood green bus stop LMAO! I make myself giggle *cough* carrying on)

So Tony calls me everyday for a week after that and he goes he wants to take me out so I pulled the 'ill check my diary' flex and text him when I'm free next week...
So anyway we meet up and he goes he wants to take me to see a film that's already out, so I was like ok and we went to go see 'shottas' at some cinema that well plays films that are already out, the cheap fool! do you know that it was only £3.50 for the cinema ticket!!!! lmao! what a cheap date!!!!. Now I got the jist of this film, which was a film with bob marleys son in it and it was about Jamaican gangsters... THAT’S IT! And you know what? At the end of the film that's still all I knew! The guy would not shut the fuck up!!! He kept giving me a running commentary of what was coming up next in the film! It was mad annoying!!! And when he told me and the bit he was talking about came up I didn't understand it coz I was too busy tryna ignore him in the cinema and watch the film. And then this is him 'are you listening to me? What? Lmao! I'm tryna watch the film you eeeeediat!!! Anyway he goes look at this bit! Watch this bit its so funny then he'll laugh and I'm like what the hell are you laughing about? Can you not see my eyes pon the screen?!?! What did you think I came cinema for? The seating? You? Nahhhh mate! I did not come cinema for you! I came the film so why are you telling me to watch it when that's what I've been tryna do?!?! *sigh* anyway as if Mr Narrator couldn't get any worse he's tryna tell me a story about his boy in New York and how he loves this film so much. WHY!?!?! I don't care!!!! It actually felt like I was being constantly bugged throughout the film well... Correction... I was! Putting it into perspective for you, Have you ever watched TV at a stupid time in the night like 4 or 5am and you turn over to watch something and its got this little narrator person in the corner for deaf people to understand what going on, on the TV? But got so occupied with watching what the person in the corner of the TV is doing that you end up not paying much attention to the programme so you’re left a bit clueless? NO? WELL I DO THAT SOMETIMES... Ok what about this? Did you used to watch looney toones? You know the looney toon where you have a road runner and a coyote? And the coyote is always tryna get this road runner but he never gets it? I felt like that coyote boi! I was so frustrated!

Anyway after the film he continues talking and I'm thinking could there possible be that much to talk about after your rant in the cinema? Well he's telling me all this nonsense that he parties with the 'stars' and how he looks after Rick Ross, Paris Hilton, Lil Wayne and all the other peeps that come over here and showing me pictures like he's some kinda groupie (not a good look! but you pay £7 for 2 people at the cinema? shatttup!!!!) and I'm thinking and feeling quite dumb 'OOOOOOOOOH YOUR JUST ANY PROMOTOR!!! MINOR!!!! YOUR NOT THAT INTERESTING FOR ME TO TOLERATE YOU ANYMORE!' Then he goes to me did you enjoy it? And I blatantly go to him 'YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A CHANCE TO WATCH IT!' I was so pissed off! There is nothing worse than someone that doesn't know when to just shut the hell up! Lol its annoying me just thinking about it! So after the cinema and our slight awkward silence he goes to me can I kiss you? And I sort of paused as in to think who asks if they can kiss someone that's a bit odd but please don't! So this is me pretending I didn't quite hear what he was talking about 'what? Sorry I didn't hear you' then he goes *in his american accent* 'come on man can I kiss you? Then he goes where do you like to be kissed? Where's your weak spots? (WEAK SPOTS??? WHAT ARE YOU ON MATE!?!?!) Do you want me to kiss you down there?' Oh yeah!!! He pulled a Pretty Ricky on me in the middle of the west end!!!! I was actually shocked!!! SHOCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And he smiled at me as if to say go on! lemme get stuck in lmao!

(Sorry to cut the current song is Ginuwine - One Time For Love, that a good song!!! Oh but now its actually just changed to Pretty Ricky - Ill Get You Right looool that's what I thought! I found it funny too when we are on the subject! Ha!)

Not surprised though coz me and my friends had a discussion like this about guys, but I was just shocked that he was so open about it! And especially to someone you've known for like 5minutes. This is me 'YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I think you need a cold shower!!!!!!' That's a bit much for me to take in after you made me sit in the cinema to watch a film that I didn't even get to watch properly coz you were talking all the way through it then he goes to me smiling 'well I can make it up to you we can go hotel I know the owners!' This is me actually feeling a bit space invaded, 'I don't think so love!' Then he goes 'Man I like you man, I feel me and you can work something out, I wanna be with you man, I wanna get with you man, can I do that?' I'm thinking is this guy on drugs??? Has he been smoking? Taking pills instead of popcorn? Then I go 'Look I'm not in the position to be in a relationship right now (BAIT LIE), I'm just concentrating on working.' Anyway to cut the story short he tried to convince me and I just said that I don't know him very well, like I don't know him from Adam and that I'm not prepared to go out with someone that I don't know let alone with someone at all' then he goes 'cool baby girl well holla at me when you want though, I'm here.' Lol I go cool but that's defo not what I was thinking... 30mins later I go to him I have a meeting *cough at home* and ill speak to him later and when I got on the train I actually just laughed...

Well he still calls me but I air the calls as you do and well that concludes my 'Question Mark Guy 3'

Conclusion? O2? Not a good place to me an ungassed up guy...

P.S. Lol I’d laugh if my boss reads this ha!


LOL

Stay Tuned!!!!!

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Hammer - Hurricane City

Now I feel so bad that this wasn't the first review I did! So I need to apologise to hammer for that! I never have settled too well with listening to a whole Grime cd coz I feel like I might wanna slit my wrists at some point. *no pun intended* but I did actually settle with this mixtape so it was all good!
Gonna get mad - this is such a great track to start off with, its fun and sort of gimicky (in a good way)So yeah good start!
Hurricane - I don't quite get the lyrics to this, or it might be just me. My ear drums need a huge rest from music so please correct me me if I'm wrong (for insurance let me please not that EVERYTHING ELSE I UNDERSTAND! Its just the first bit :D) 'one two one there's a hurricane and its already gone through they charge us but they don't charge you' am I wrong lol please tell me! Anyway! Jammer and Hammer (lol that rhymes look at that) have both distinctive voices which really work well together. Now the remix to this I heard a while back when hammer sent it to me and I was not expecting it to sound like that at all!!! I was kinda shocked I didn't really like it at first but only for the reason that I expected more funky rather than scooter ibiza riddim but it did grow on me and I do like it now and I actually play it while getting ready in the mornings *always a good sign* it sort of reminds me of kevin and perry go large (if you aint seen it! BIG BOY FILM!)
Players get lonely too - as soon as I heard this it kinda reminded me of ironiks 'stay with me' part from the fact I actually like this, its nice :)
Releasing Thoughts - HAMMER! WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO KID! ITS A LOVE SONG! Lmao! I thought my ears where defying me so I went on www.online-dictonary.com and checked out 'love song' definition: a song about love or expressing love for another person... Did you not do that? Well... Technically you did, your talking about a relationship and what sounds like a buggaboo of a girlfriend buh SAME TING! Any how its a really nice track... You have props nice track...Stinking - YEAH HEH YEAH HEH!!!!! If you do not like that track you are 'STINKING' lmao!!!! This track actually got me so HYPE! (Don't ask) anyway... Its sort of like my HYPE HYPE/POW track of the year! I don't care what you lot think! That's why its on MY blog! :) At least we all know that Skepta likes Jazzie, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! Lmao! Ahhhhh man! I don't think you lot quite know how much I like this track! Too much! But then again I'm a bit of a nutta anyway! Anyway NUFF SAID! SNM! LOVES IT! MY FAVOURITE TRACK ON THE MIXTAPE!
I really like this mixtape, its fun, energetic, there's more than one genre of music on here so it can appeal to just about anyone. It sort of sounds like its been effortlessly put together. So ill give it a 8 of 10. I'm just intrigued to see what you come up with next. But if you aint got it... Get it and lemme know what you think too :)
NOTE TO HAMMER: I am madly slow! But I now understand your email address *SMH* lol!

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Mz Bratt - Give It To Em Vol 2

Now this girls smart you know! Why you ask? Well she knows how to appeal to her public and her fans, and whether you like it or not your a fan. FULL STOP! HANDS DOWN! DONT ARGUE! SO SHHHHHHHHHH! Now after god know how long trying to download this bloody thing from spendspace and trying to convert it from rar to a normal file and tryna get rid of it being a zip file and all that rubbish I finally get to listen to it. And I suppose it was worth the trouble I must say. If it was sh*t I would tell you. No matter how much I like you. *Cheeky smile* anyway Give it to em Vol 2. The MIXTAPE!

Who do you think you are - I remember when I heard this track ages ago when I was working at UKstreetsounds and terror was like this girls gonna be big! He wernt wrong there. I must say I do actually love that track so SNM! I was a bit annoyed that I missed the video shoot coz I had a photoshoot to deal with. It should have done better than it did but its all about the build up right?

I like you - so we've got a little sample of Mz Bratts new single feat sadie ama (for those who a little slow that's shola ama sister even though I don't think she wants to be remembered like that, further more the talent runs in the family). I can see girls listening to this track and singing alone coz they can relate to it. Pathetic? Yes, but true? Totally! Now don't front like you don't do that, I saw you listening to destinys child 'I'm a survivor' SMH. We've all been there. So look out for the video!!!!

We have a few freestyles on here which is always nice to hear. We have 'Not Alone' by calvin harris, 'Diamond Rings' by Chip, 'Everything' by P Money 'Migrane Skank' by Gracious k (that freestyles funny) She shows that's she can be versatile, and flexible in what ever she does. Now they don't last for long, but they don't really need to go on for days anyway. Right? Don't answer, that was a rhetorical question. Anyway, its all fun and games listening to the freestyles and chose the right tracks to do too. 'Run This Town' is on here too, and all proves my point that I've just mentioned. 'Bust your windows', Bratt says exactly what I would have done. Also Tincheys ft Taio Cruz 'Take me back' and I swear there is the first little hint of Bratt singing in the background there.

Move Your Body - I love this, I can actually listen to this all day, its fun. It reminds me a bit of 'rolex sweep' by skepta. The beat not her.

Sooooooo we have 'Warning' with Bruza + Tinie Tempah, 'This Year' and Drop bombs with Griminal. I think Grim and Bratt work really well on a track together and I love bratt on grime. Why you ask? Well ill tell you... She sort of brings sexiness to grime. CORRECTION! She does bring sexiness to grime. Now just to clarify myself to all those small minded people out there that think that comment is gay in anyway please vacate your way off my blog, we are all mature round here. Anyway... Bratt has a hot voice END OF!

Trust You - Girl can sing! I've said this before! Look out for that track SNM I don't need to write anything more about that.Bratt and Elrea on a track is hooooooooooooott!!!!!!!!! And that guy can sing! *SIGH* deary me, I know yall will be putting that on your slow jam cd turning the lights down low.Futures bright is a decent track too.

The first thing I heard on 'Addictive' was such a minor thing but it just made me laugh. *No pun intended* Bratt Bruuuz LMAO! Bruza has such a deep voice and its such a contrast with Bratt but its a good track. I like the acoustics in the back which is actually really nice, sort of indie.

How can u turn up to radio late? U diva tut tut tut! Pmsl at the provisional license. But hun I'm sorry, holding a phone in an advert is modelling, not acting. Either way you got paid so its all love my dear :)

I have actually had a guy pull my hair by accident in a club (at least i hope it was an accident) he was going for my shoulder and sort of re flexed back like I just banged my head. Its funny now, but it wernt then, he nearly pulled my weave off lmao! That actually was the last day I wore it unoe, anyway... I'm not gonna lie if you wanna laugh listen to that radio rip, coz that is actually really funny. Terror why are you helping her in the background? Target man what a douche bag lmao!

Anyway overall, this gives people the real meaning to MIXTAPE! It gives you tasters of what is to come. Also there's something on here to cater for anyone with different music tastes, so your bound to find something that you like. I did however wanna hear some more of Bratt singing, but I suppose I can't have it both ways aye? 9 out of 10. Its a good mixtape. And if you aint heard it yet I suggest your get it ASAP! Terror you've done a good job, but of course you already know. Bratt keep it up my dear. And a shout out to everyone else.

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Wizzy Wow - Dr. Wizzy Love

So Mr. Wizzy wow's (AKA Y.Wizz) released a free album on download. Yes I know the review is a bit late but I just haven't got round to being able to listen to it and write my notes at the same time. So ideally... I'm on the train on my way to a meeting and thought I might as well get it done now.
So... Dr. Wizzy Love - Welcome to the space motel.
When I first listen to it, not properly just a 'wizz' through it and initially I thought ahhh its not gonna be another one of those 'Kanye West heartbreaker' type albums is it? Because all I heard was auto tune, ill be honest, the thought I was gonna be disappointed. BUT! (Before someone cuts my head off for doing a bad review) when I listened to it again when I was on the train I really got into it. Its a real chick flick album, Sorry but it is, its one of those albums that your average girl would listen to over and over again and wish the artist was talking about her. I can see one of these songs being used as a cover to a sex scene in a hugh grant movie or a tyler perry movie(well maybe not hugh grant)

Tracklist:( I've just done notes to the ones that stand out the most to me)

1.Saviour - not a bad intro into the album3.Stars in her eyes - LMAO *no pun intended* when I heard the production on this I thought this was defo produced by wiley, lol and it was, so crazy I feel that its kinda all over the place4.Stoned in saturn - is the first track I heard and I must say I haven't got bored of it. I really like it but I don't want to babble on.

10.X-rated ft J.F.L.O.W.S - I actually thought it was wretch 32 on this track first for some reason. I'm not deaf, but I seriously thought it was *no pun intended* but then I double checked and it wasn't (just to clarify it wasn't wretch). Anyway I really like this track one of my favourites, its smart, lyrically. The productions good too.

11.Don't make me wait - This is actually my favourite track on the whole album, honestly I love the way this track is put together. I don't think there is anyway it could possibly be improved (what can I say I'm passionate about that track, lol!)

12.Too grown for you ft Ivy - Cool track, I suppose it happens. But any girl that turns round and says she would rather talk on the phone than go to new york is actually a nimconpooop!!!! Lol its a good listen.

13.Transform you - Nothing bad about it, good use of autotune. Speaking for transforming... I would like to transform this girl that is looking at what I'm typing on my BB while writing this review. She needs to transform her eyes to look the other way.

14.Over now ft Scorcher - This song reminds me love lockdown from kanyes last album. Lol if you aint heard it, listen to it you'll get what I mean.

Anyway all in all its a good lil album so if you haven't downloaded it I'm not sure if you've figured it out, so those of you that are a little slow, its free! YES FREE!!! So download it coz its a bargain and it will make a brill present all your friends and family, don't forget, christmas is round the corner. Just Joking Na Man!!! Nah its a good album... 8ish out of 10 I thought 7 was a little low. :)

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Question Mark Guys Part 2

After I wrote my first 'QUESTION MARK GUY' blog, I started reminiscing about all the other QUESTION MARK GUYS that have somehow managed to attempt to lead me the garden path!!!! Well... Today ill tell about a 'DATE' that undoubtedly my mum will never let me forget. YES! I said it! My mum! She plays a major part in this story! I'm sure you've all had one of those dates that just makes you sit down and wonder what the FCUK was going through that what less persons head!!!

So here we go...

Question mark guy #2
Profile Name: Just not right...
Age: 20 with the swagger of a 12 year old (although did notice this until the END)...

I was the event organiser of a 3day music festival event last year. It was going great when it started, every one was coming through the doors sitting down waiting for the show to start. I myself was looking forward to watching some of the people perform, I must say I was rather ecstatic to see that loads of people turned up and almost a large weight was lifted off my shoulders as I started to chillax and get into my zone. :)

Now halfway through the event I was talking to some of the artists and producers and all the other tag a longs that came and I happened to bump into an old music friend of mine whom I hadn't seen or spoken to in a while (in other words forgot about his entire existence). While we were having a quick catch up, this dark figure came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. My friend turns round with a rather electric smile and introduces me. The guy goes to shake my hand and as I do my smile widens, while I flick my hair and flutter my eyelashes as to say 'HELLOOOOOOOOOOO HANDSOME!!!!!!' Standing before me was a fine figure of a man, a vision of a real master piece, a work of art, an alluring dish of manlyness. Basically in other words he was a light skin brother, 6ft 2, clean cut, well built out gladiator looking chap. Well we got chatting and we were sitting at the bar drinking rose and in my mind I was thinking THANK YOU GOD! I KNEW YOU LOVED ME! I must say this guy had the lynx effect on me. Anyway so its the end of the event and I'm saying my good byes to the people leaving and my new found friend comes up to me, asks me for my number then asks what I am doing the next day. I told him I had the last day of the event to finish then he asked if he could see me after I was done. I contained my excitement (as you do) and agreed.

Fast forwarding... after text talking to this guy all night I was getting ready to finish off working on the event. We agreed to meet up for 6pm but well that didn't quite go to plan, I got so caught up with people at the event I forgot to stop talking and didn't realise the time. It was 7.30pm and I kept telling the guy I was leaving in 10 minutes and I was saying that from 5pm lol! Anyway I kept him waiting for 1hour and 30mins while he waited outside the Trafalgar square tescos(I must admit that was my fault). Now this is where it starts to get interesting. I walk up to him and as he turns round I realise what he's wearing! Not the F.I.N.E looking clothes he was wearing the day before but my guy was wearing a full tracksuit! But not any tracksuit, a tracksuit that looked like he had worn it god knows how many times to the gym. Washed it god knows how many times till it had turned to some manky washed out burgundy redish colour! In other words I was thinking HELL NO!!!!! Hell no did he just turn up looking like that! I was not impressed! I know I left him hanging for a bit, but I left him hanging enough to go home and take that sh*t off and change! If I knew this MOFO was gonna turn up looking like that I woulda left him hanging LONGER!!!

Well... Subsiding that he turns up looking like that! We go into tescos buy some krispy cremes then go for a walk, we just chatting and chatting you know the usual things! We walked over a bridge over the thames and past the london eye and it was really nice a really decent night.

Now...I said to him I wanted to get something to eat coz I was really hungry, he said ok but can we go to his to get a jacket coz it was cold and his house is just round the corner. So we walked to his house and when got there I thought it was gonna be a quick in and out type thing. But oooooooooh nooooooooo nothings ever normal I'm my life! This guy now, he goes come in for a second. I walk in now, this bloody fucker turns on the lights, turns on the TV, turns on the computer sits at it and starts talking MSN! M.S FCUKING N. Are you hearing this!!!!!!! I thought he said that he was gonna get he bloody jacket! Ooooooh it don't end there noooooo! He comes off MSN now and what does he do? turns over the TV and puts on Graham Norton! ILL REPEAT!!! GRAHAM NORTON!!! The guy puts the queerest guy in television on and sits down next to me! Hugging me thinking that's the way its gonna go!!!! I'm thinking nahhhhh mate!!! Its not happening!!!

At this point I'm thinking this guy aint serious!!!! Well... At the right time as always my mum calls me and tells me she's in central london finishing work and if I need a lift home. I was thinking THANK YOU!!! She was at this guys house within 5mins and when I got in the car I just laughed about it with my mum! Then went to a Macds drive thru! Damn guy left me hungry!

The time when you think your on a 'DATE' with the right guy! Lol well... I got put in my place there! Which is a shame coz he was F.I.N.E!!!!!!! But he was just not right...

Pfffffff moral of the story: don't fall for what a guy tells you! Don't judge a book by its cover! Eat before a date... :)

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